‘Sign ka sa Autograph ko’

Natagpuan ng kaklase ko nung highschool yung ‘Autograph’ namin nung fourth year kami. Apparently, he had so much time in his hands, he scanned the whole damn thing (a.k.a. “Slumbook” – the one you wish you never signed) and posted it on his Multiply site for everyone to see. 

May tatlong dahilan bakit ako pumipirma at sumasagot sa mga ‘Autograph’:

1. Kinikilig ako pag sasagutan ko na yung ‘Who is your crush/describe your crush’ portion.

2. Gusto ko i-deliver yung message sa crush ko na may gusto ako sa kanya – in a not so direct way. Di pa kasi uso text at email nun. Ang style pa, ako muna susulat, tapus sasabihin ko sa may-ari ng ‘Autograph’ na isunod yung crush ko para mabasa niya yung sinulat ko at kumalat ang chismis.

3. Naranasan mo na ba yung nagbihis ka at lahat, hindi ka pala kasama sa lakad. Ang sama sa pakiramdam diba? Nuon, pag lahat nakapirma sa ‘Autograph’ at ikaw hinde – either your a nerd that only talks to your pet rock or lahat ayaw sayo kasi may B.O. ka. It was all about being part of the inner circle baby!

Ikaw? Pumirma ka na ba?

ARTISTA

Sa talambuhay ko, masasabi kong marami-rami na rin akong na-encounter na ARTISTA in person. Sa mall, sa sementeryo, sa restaurant. Kung saan saan. Hindi ko alam kung coincidence o sadya lang talagang lapitin ako ng mga artista (kapal). 

Eto ang ilan sa mga artistang nakita ko na in person: 

Angel Locsin – Robinson’s Galleria, namamasyal kasama ang nanay niya. Alam kong nanay niya yun kasi close kami. Maliit ang ulo niya sa personal. Kasya sa palad ko.

Alex Crisan0 – I saw him pre-Ethel Booba days, sa Yellow Cab Greenhills. Kumakain ng pizza (alangan namn Wanton Noodles ang kinain niya). Mabait na tao. Sabi ko pa nga sa kanya ‘What’s up man’. Sumagot naman siya ng ‘How’s it going man?’.

Mari Kaimo – Yeah, that reporter dude from Studio 23. I’m not sure if you guys can still remember him, pero napakasuplado nito taong ‘to. A total dick.

Pero baka bad day lang. But its still not an excuse if you’re a public figure. Lalu pa kung DADALAWA LANG KAMI SA LOOB NG ELEVATOR dammit.

Iya Villana/Drew Arellano - Greenhills, nagliliwaliw. Tahimik lang. Walang imik. Pareho sila ni Drew. Parang pagod na pagod sa hindi maipaliwanag na dahilan. Baka (insert green joke here). Overrated ang biceps ni Drew. Kung ikukumpara sa hita ko.

Paul Artadi – Robinson’s Galleria, kasamang ang kanyang then gf / now wife. Tumitingin ng damit sa Topman. Paul Artadi has great taste when it comes to clothing I should say. He’s my hero.

Francis M. – Tumitingin ako ng mga bagong labas na sapatos sa Toby’s (year 2003). Maya maya, biglang nagkagulo yung mga sales attendants. Along with four hommies, pumasok ng store si Kiko. Tumingin ng sapatos. Binati ko sabi ko ‘Kuya Kiko, kamusta po?‘. Ngumiti sakin at kinamayan pa ko. Nagpa-autograph ako sa kanya, pinirmahan niya yung t-shirt na binili ko. My man.

Palito – Madalas ko makita ‘to sa Escolta sa Manila. Daming chicks. Nah, biro lang. Simpleng tao lang pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko alam paano siya i-aapproach.

At nitong sabado lang…habang fina-finalize namin ang detalye sa birthday party ng anak ko…katabing mesa lang namin kumakain ang PAMBANSANG BIGOTE…Mr.Valiente…

VAL SOTTO.

'Idol'

Napakabait na tao nito. Nung paglabas namin, tumango ako sa kanya…kala ko masungit…kala ko gugulpihin na ko ng bigote niya…pero hinde, sabi pa niya: ‘Hello…Good evening po…’. Mabuhay ka ser!

7 Terrible Songs I Can Sing Even In My Sleep

Bata pa lang ako, mahilig na ko kumanta. Pero hindi talaga ako marunong, mahilig lang talaga. Maniwala man kayo o hinde, grade 3 pa lang ako, mag-isa na ko umuuwi mula school hanggang bahay…at nilalakad ko lang. Batang Divisoria pa ‘to mga tol. Palagi ko kasi tinatakasan yung yaya kong panget masungit. Minsan ako rin ang tinatakasan niya. Lalu na pag si ‘Adobo’ ang naka-duty na guwardya sa main gate ng school. Kamukha daw kasi ni Allan Paule. Pweh.

Anyway, ang paborito kong gawain habang naglalakad pauwi ay kumanta. Kumanta ng kumanta. Pag bata ka, okay lang kahit kumanta ka ng malakas. Pero pag tanda mo, hindi na uubra yun. Pagkakamalan ka ng may sayad. Kaya sa isip na lang ako kumakanta. Kanina habang nakababad sa bus papasok ng opisina, hindi ko maiwasan mapasabay sa mga kantang pinapatugtog ng driver. Nagkaron tuloy ako ng idea for a blog entry.

1. CRUSH ON YOU by Aaron Carter – Isa ‘to sa mga kantang hindi ko lang memoryado ang lyrics, alam ko pa ang dance steps. Fuck. Mataimtim ko pang pinagdadasal dati na sana pumasok ang video nito sa top 3 man lang ng MTV Weekly Countdown.  

2. All NIGHT, ALL RIGHT by Peter Andre – Whoa! Pati ito? Yeah boy. No explanation needed. Just plain absurd.

3. PAINT MY LOVE by Michael Learns to Rock – Ito na siguro ang national anthem ng mga tsuper. At one point sa buhay mo, sigurado akong narinig mo na ‘to habang nasa byahe. Lakas ng tama ng kantang ‘to. Kung sino man ang nagkaroon ng album ng Michael Learns to Rock nung kasikatan nila – may mga sachet ng shabu sa kwarto.  Kakaibang ‘tama’ ang kailangan mo para ma-appreciate mo ang mga kanta nila, lalu na tong PAINT MY LOVE. Si ’Michael’ ba yung blondie na vocalist?

4. SOMETIMES by Britney Spears - Nakainom man o hinde, kaya kong magbigay ng (at least) 8 Britney Spears songs at kaya ko silang kantahin lahat. Pero pinaka-paborito ko sa lahat ng SOMETIMES. Video pa lang dinadala na ko sa langit.  All white ang suot at labas ang abs ni Britney sa video nito. Perfect combination. Eto rin yung mga panahon na halos lahat ng lalaki sa mundo naglalaway sa kanya. Aminado, may poster ako ni Britney Spears sa kwarto ngayon nuon.

...but all I really want is to hold you tight...

5. STUPID LOVE by Salbakuta – I don’t know if this is accurate, pero naaalala ko nung kasikatan nitong tatlong itlog na ‘to, may isa sa kanila na nanligaw (hahahahahaha) sa kapatid kong sumunod sakin. Hindi ko maalala kung si ‘Charlie Mac’ ba. Basta ang alam ko, kaya kong banatan ang  STUPID LOVE kahit nakalublob pa ang ulo ko sa drum ng tubig. STUPID!!

6. DUNLOP SOCKS commercial jingle – Paboritong commercial ng PBA nung ’90s. Next to Acebedo Optical, Coat Saver at Tapal Vulca Seal

Dunlop socks…computer designed, great style, great comfort! We all love our Dunlop…designed for the future, its the socks of the futuuuure, today!! *voice over*

Nuff said.

7. MAHAL PA RIN by Sam Milby – Paborito ko ‘to. Oo. Inaamin ko. Hindi ko gusto si Sam Milby. His weird, retarded smile creeps me out. But this song is well done. Kumbaga sa itlog done well. Gustong gusto kong binibirit ‘to pag may mga nagbubulungan sa tabi. Mga naglalampungan sa sulok. Wala lang, pang-asar sa kanila – pang showtime ng talent sakin.

Tapus mong basahin ang listahan ko, sana friends pa rin tayo. Sana yung katiting na respeto mo sakin bilang tao buo pa. Remember kids, its not about the song – its the moment.

Iba pala ang tama ng expired na Chips Ahoy.

Trick or Treat (what a late entry, Ape)

Okay, before you guys whack my head off with a sledgehammer, let me explain why my supposed ‘Halloween’ entry is about 10 days late. The last few days, I’ve been working on two projects: T.Y.B.S. Weekly Sulit Bashing and preparations for my little angel’s 1st birthday concept. My wife and I finally agreed on the venue and which politician clowns to hire as added entertainment. By the way you’re all invited all your gifts are invited. So those kept ‘Ape’ the blogger busy. I still have a regular job so don’t call Social Services yet.

So there was this terribly organized Halloween program for kids in our village on the same day Typhoon Santi hit the country. I don’t really understand why they pushed through with it. I mean, how can the innocent little children in monster costumes go out in the open to get candies?! But no typhoon can stop the organizers and these kids from partying!

especially this man-child in a Trojan costume. He was really the highlight of my day. Effort!

 A couple of things that stood out that day:

1. One homeowner actually had cotton candy makers outside his house to attract kids (and adults) alike. It was the first time I ate cotton candy since David Hasselhoff was manning the beaches (and bitches) in Baywatch.

 2. Another homeowner was giving away, not candies, but JOLLIBEE CHEESEBURGERS man. Hands down the best gimmick of the day.

3. Saving the best for last…my little girl. Who was absolutely ’stunning’ that day. She was Tinkerbell. I’m George Estregan Jr.

Happy Halloween guys…(c’mon! I had to let that one out!)

Pagbigyan niyo na ang huli sa balita!

Love Letter

Good Afternoon,

 Hi! How are now maybe busy yesterday because no email receive from you just waiting only. Now its already next week so the reply what I am asking for, make it straight to point yes or no mahirap kasi ang magplastican tayo meaning direct to point. Its very difficult start with if we don’t have any direction where we going to start of, I know its difficult for you but accept the reality that you have started already, then I know where I going to stand for.

 just a simple answer  YES OR NO ?????????????????????????????

That’s an email forwarded to me by my officemate. It was sent by her suitor. Lovely.

Bystander Effect

Don’t be surprised. I’m going to blog about something really, really serious. Something that we should all be aware of.

Humans have the tendency to be shocked and awed when something bad happens. We don’t have the natural instinct to react. Okay, not all of us. Most of us. When someone gets robbed – we don’t dare try to catch the culprit, instead we just stand there and do absolutely nothing. Not knowing what to do. When a man on the street is being beaten up by a couple of guys, or being eaten by a couple of zombies - we don’t interfere and we just let them do their ass-whooping. Its a social pyschological phenomenon where people don’t extend help during emergency situation when there are OTHER people around.

In short: Naghihintayan pa.

I’m saying this because I witnessed something absurd while I was waiting for a cab (ok, FX) the other day.  Three teenage boys – ages 16-18 I guess -  stoning  the hell out of  an innocent stray dog. I didn’t moved a muscle. I just stood there. I was probably more scared than the dog. I’m so dissapointed at myself right now. I should have yelled something or threw my own pile of shit at those retards, but no…I. Did. Absolutely. Nothing.

Scary shit: Paranormal Activity

Finally, I was able to see the most controversial movie in the US right now – PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. The low budget horror movie that was released back in 2007 is now slowly creeping up the charts not just in the US but all over the world. I rarely blog about movies – heck I rarely blog about horror movies – but this one is quite special. I watched it at 9:30 in the morning and it still scared the rats out of me. I think at one point, I squealed like a girl- but lets not talk about that. Ok. Shut up.

Its presented in documentary style – same as the ‘Blair Witch Project’ and ‘Cloverfield’…only less shaky and more bearable.  The plot is really very basic. Engaged couple wanted to document the scary shit that’s going on inside their house. So each night, they set-up a camera complete with a tripod and mics to know exactly if it was Santa Claus running around their house or its some rude demon. What’s scary is the way they….

…just see the movie. I don’t wanna ruin it for you.