Love Letter

Good Afternoon,

 Hi! How are now maybe busy yesterday because no email receive from you just waiting only. Now its already next week so the reply what I am asking for, make it straight to point yes or no mahirap kasi ang magplastican tayo meaning direct to point. Its very difficult start with if we don’t have any direction where we going to start of, I know its difficult for you but accept the reality that you have started already, then I know where I going to stand for.

 just a simple answer  YES OR NO ?????????????????????????????

That’s an email forwarded to me by my officemate. It was sent by her suitor. Lovely.

Bystander Effect

Don’t be surprised. I’m going to blog about something really, really serious. Something that we should all be aware of.

Humans have the tendency to be shocked and awed when something bad happens. We don’t have the natural instinct to react. Okay, not all of us. Most of us. When someone gets robbed – we don’t dare try to catch the culprit, instead we just stand there and do absolutely nothing. Not knowing what to do. When a man on the street is being beaten up by a couple of guys, or being eaten by a couple of zombies - we don’t interfere and we just let them do their ass-whooping. Its a social pyschological phenomenon where people don’t extend help during emergency situation when there are OTHER people around.

In short: Naghihintayan pa.

I’m saying this because I witnessed something absurd while I was waiting for a cab (ok, FX) the other day.  Three teenage boys – ages 16-18 I guess -  stoning  the hell out of  an innocent stray dog. I didn’t moved a muscle. I just stood there. I was probably more scared than the dog. I’m so dissapointed at myself right now. I should have yelled something or threw my own pile of shit at those retards, but no…I. Did. Absolutely. Nothing.

Scary shit: Paranormal Activity

Finally, I was able to see the most controversial movie in the US right now – PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. The low budget horror movie that was released back in 2007 is now slowly creeping up the charts not just in the US but all over the world. I rarely blog about movies – heck I rarely blog about horror movies – but this one is quite special. I watched it at 9:30 in the morning and it still scared the rats out of me. I think at one point, I squealed like a girl- but lets not talk about that. Ok. Shut up.

Its presented in documentary style – same as the ‘Blair Witch Project’ and ‘Cloverfield’…only less shaky and more bearable.  The plot is really very basic. Engaged couple wanted to document the scary shit that’s going on inside their house. So each night, they set-up a camera complete with a tripod and mics to know exactly if it was Santa Claus running around their house or its some rude demon. What’s scary is the way they….

…just see the movie. I don’t wanna ruin it for you.

T.Y.B.S. (2)

 

Hi I’m danica,25 y/o working in katipunan ave. as na accountant, i’m 5′5 in height average body,tan skin,and long hair.I love going to gym and bars.

I’m not sure what she meant by ‘average body’. Help me out guys. Because there is no such thing as ‘average’. Either you’re sexy or your not. You can’t use ‘average’ to describe your physique. Sana naging specific ka para bumenta ng bonggang bongga ‘tong AD mo. If you have big boobs to compliment your slim torso while having a J.Lo-cious butt, then let the world know. Kahit sinong lalake pwedeng i-describe ang sarili bilang ‘average body, tan skin and long hair’ (read: Jobert Sucaldito). Hindi naman sa pinag-iinitan ko si Jobert. 

I’m single for 3 years now.I’m looking for someone 25y/o to 32 y/o who can add to my lists of friends,guys who have sense of humor,decent,sensitive and kind..NO Maniacs allowed..

Girl there is a problem. We need to talk. Being single for 3 years is PERFECTLY NORMAL. You being so desperate to end your 3-year drought escapes me. I have friends that remained single since birth and they’re fine. They still lived a normal, happy life. But they’re all locked up in an assylum now.

Also, this is what I don’t understand – if you’re looking for a ‘decent’ guy’, surprise surprise, you won’t find it in that section of Sulit. If you’re trying to stay away from ‘maniacs’ (not me), then you got it all twisted by being in the ‘woman searching for man’ category.

yuo can text me at 0927445****.I also have sun cellular line but U have to txt me first on my globe sim.I prefer sun user.Please text me ur sun number and your nasl Juz here waiting!

Napakadaming process at rules to follow naman. Sumakit ulo ko just by absorbing what you just said. Siguro may sikretong malupit ka. May boyfriend ka noh?! Eto lang ah. Walang matinong lalake ang makikipag hookup online. Lahat ng lalakeng naghahanap ng babae online – may angking ka-manyakan sa katawan (not me). Neng, kung gusto mong lumigaya ang iyong buhay – humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay. At kung nangangati ka lang ‘day, ikaskas mo na lang yan sa cheese grater ng makita mo ang hinahanap mo.

P.S. what’s up with guys with ’sense of humor’? or medyo ‘kAloGz’?! What the hell is a kalog anyway?

T.Y.B.S. (1)

Category: Man searching for Woman

Age: 32

Status: Married

i’m a guy from QC. looking for some fun, happy time and if possible a fubu for long term. i don’t have high qulifications for a partner. as long as “you” want so am i.

 Dude, bihira ka bang lumabas ng bahay? Kasi sa pagkakaalam ko, kung libog at panandaliang aliw lang ang hanp mo, nasa QC lang naman ang Pegasus at Stardust. O kaya yung kalawanging Encounter (teka giniba na ata yun). O kaya pumunta ka na lang sa Timog, maraming ‘Diablo’ – mga nagpapa blo-dia. Wala ka rin lang namang ‘qualifications’ so pwede na yun. Aarte pa ba?

go for me…. sure safe ka sa akin… due to my status i don’t post a pic of mine. pics will be sent if you gave me your email ad. just tell me where to send it.

Are you paraplegic? Bedridden? O baka kamuka mo si Jobert Sucaldito kaya ayaw mo makipagpalitan ng picture. Understandable if that’s the case. I mean, I’m no Gerald Anderson…but Jobert is ugly as hell. Be fair man.  

Surely both of us will benefit and have fun… if interested just send me your number. i’ll get in touch with you… or you can reach me at siro nayn wan nayn eyt siro nayn payb tri payb por…

What benefit will a girl get from being your fuck buddy? Can you elaborate on that, sir? Omg. The way you provided your cellphone # is enough to scare the shit out of  anyone. Congratulations sir, you’re e certified loser. Now logoff and give your wife a kiss on the cheek you dirty bastard.

T.Y.B.S.

T.Y.B.S. = Take Your Best Shot

Weekly bashing of the craziest, most absurd ads found in SULIT.COM.PH.

Not that I’m trying to pick on the website itself. I use it when I want to sell my body old stuff online. I use it when I need something that I can’t find in the mall. Its a one-stop online shopping center and it caters to all people from all walks of life. Its our version of Craiglist and it sure helps a lot of our business minded brothers and sisters . Some of the categories available are pretty useful and realistic.

Wanna sell your old stinking Toyota ‘92? Go to Cars/Automotives.

Looking for a cute Siberian Huskie? How about a baby alligator? Go to Pets. Or Travel / Tourism (so you can pry your own baby gator)

But there are some categories, namely; Personals – man searching for man, man search for woman, woman search for man – are too damn funny (and retarded) it can’t be real.

So enough of this bullshit…first TYBS will be posted in 30 minutes.

P.S.

I’m totally gonna get my ass busted because of this. Hahaha..

WWTBA: Who Wants To Be an Asshole?

Back in highschool, I was the devil reincarnate. I can name 10 people who hates me to the bones until this very day.  They think I’m the reason why ‘fuck+you’ was invented.  I wasn’t just a bully and a total asshole…I was the meanest, baddest motherfucker they’ve ever known.

read it, from cover to cover

But they love that ‘dickhead’ part of me. Thats the problem. They find it amusing. People think I’m ‘cool’. I was royalty. I was the Michael Jackson of pranks. But man, when I think about the things I did before, I find it pretty lame. Being an asshole these days is pretty much different now. Its more psychological than physical. Its more of cerebral game than trash talking.  

Been there, done that. I’m no longer an asshole (except for Thursdays), but if there’s anyone out there who wants to be one, feel free to read through my little checklist:

1. Kung bibili ka lang ng isang sachet ng shampoo sa 7-11 at ang pera mo ay 1000 pesos….you’re an asshole.

2. Kung lahat ng intsik na  kilala mo tatanungin mo kung marunong siya mag-KARATE…you’re an asshole.

3. Kung ikaw ay nasa internet cafe (dahil tinarantado ka na naman ng Smart Bro) at habang hinihintay mo magload ang website na binuksan mo e panay ang sulyap mo sa monitor ng katabi…you’re an asshole.

4. If you write “U” instead of “you,” or “sux” instead of “sucks”…you’re an asshole.

5. iF yOu WrItE tHiZ wAy…you’re an asshole to the highest level.

6. Pag tumawag ka sa Pizza Hut at sasabihin mo sa makakasagot na ’sandali lang ah’ at tsaka mo pa lang tatanungin ano gusto ng mga kasama mo…you’re an asshole.

6.5 Kung todo EMO ang porma mo. Gothic shit and all…pero kinakanta mo sa isip mo ang mga hits ni Sarah Geronimo at Mark Bautista…you’re an asshole.

7. Kung sinsigawan mo yung kinakainisan mong tao sa TV, kahit alam mong hindi ka niya maririnig…you’re an asshole.

8. Kung nagtetext ka habang nagmamaneho…you’re an asshole.

8.5 If you wear sunglasses at night…inside a building or a bar…you’re an asshole. You’re not Randy Santiago so cut the crap.

9. If you complain about the government, yet you don’t vote…you’re an asshole.

10. If you make lists about how to be an asshole…you’re an asshole.

So there you have it fellas. Go on and live the Mikey Arroyo life and be an asshole. Just don’t ever mention my name or this blog.